Boomerang
by Dumb Genius
Summary: No matter how hard he tries to rid of her, she will always return. Will the boomerang eventually break and stay away? BernardXOC


Chapter 1

* * *

God… Does she _ever_ stop?

"Bernard! How are you today?"

I sigh and reply like I usually do; shortly and rudely. "Not great."

Normally this behavior would drive off any human being, but she's different. It seems she _likes_ it when I'm short with her. Or maybe that's because she's a co-worker… But even so, she could easily leave me on my own like everyone else does…

"Well I hope you're feeling _great_ by the end of today! Hey, did you want to hang out with me on our lunch break?" She asks, chipper but shyly. She's weird… That's all I can conclude; some girl who likes it when people are mean to her. Well, _me_ in particular… I've seen others try to treat her the way I do and she retorted quite defensively…

"No."

She wavers just slightly, but her smile returns to her face. She walks away to do her job. Tour guide, but there aren't any tourists coming around lately, so she just studies, helps with the displays and advertising and such. Actually, she's pretty much invited herself to be my assistant… But I don't need one.

"Maybe some other day then." She calls over her shoulder.

"Doubtful." I say. She barely hears me, but from the pause in her steps, I can see that she caught it. Why does she keep coming, over and over again? Can't she tell that I don't like people? They're loud, annoying and get in the way of work. Maybe there _was_ a time when I wanted friends, but not anymore. They're troublesome. They want to spend time with you one minute then they're completely emotionally unstable the next. Friends are a complete nuisance.

"Hey, Bernard-"

"_What_?"

"N-nothing! C-continue on." Gerry stutters out, backing away as if I was some sort of wild animal.

Whatever…

I return to my work and head out to read and maintain the hygrothermograph in various parts of the building. The humidity's high today… That's not good… It's been too high as of late, even without the visitors… I need to contact a ventilation specialist… Fast. If I don't it could cause serious damage to the artefacts and possibly allow mold to set in. I go to look at the windows to see if there are painfully visible signs of the problem at hand… There are.

I stand in the middle of the floor for a while, staring at the condensation on the windows… It's maddening. It's like it's mocking me.

"Something interesting up there, Bernard?"

I turn slowly to her… The annoyingly persistent girl. "Nothing particular, Christabella…"

Who on earth would name their child that? It's too… extravagant for this day and age. She blushes and shifts slightly.

"I-I told you, you could call me Christy." She offers a smile, but I'm not particularly moved by her 'large eyes', as the other male workers so enthusiastically fawn over. They also obsess over _other_ features, but no matter. They're all a bunch of perverts.

I sigh. "I'm not one for nicknames… And if you recall, I wanted to call you by your last name but you begged to be called by your first, _Ms. Glasscock_."

Her face bursts in a red that almost had me worry… _Almost_.

"B-Bernard! No, no, Christabella is fine. Geez."

"I don't see the big deal. It's just a last name." I brush off, resuming my studying of the windows.

"To be honest, you're the first person I've encountered who didn't crack a joke at my surname. There are many people who keel over, laughing… Especially men." She explains, eyebrows brought up in the center and a pitiful strained smile on her lips.

"Immaturity… A disease that plagues most. Now, I need you to inform all of the workers that we will be having a ventilation specialist coming soon and that they are not to tamper with any of the displays until then. You can manage that, can't you? You seem have the time, seeing as you waste most of it trying to _chat_ with me."

"Oh, right. Yes, Bernard, I'll get right on it." She says, smiling.

Still no negative reaction… The same happy girl, almost like a puppy. Actually, a puppy describes her perfectly. She returns dutifully without fail, she's always chipper and hyper, she does as I ask and gives me most of her attention… And like any puppy, she also _demands_ attention… Not to her knowledge yet, but she will soon. And it will be _hell_.

I have neither the time nor desire to receive such devotion. There has to be some way I can be rid of her…

But she _is_ useful in some ways… I doubt I'll ever find another employee who works as hard and enthusiastically as she does… Oh well.

Now, to put up a notice… 'Temporarily Closed' I can't have groups of people entering and _increasing_ the humidity levels.

Once I'm at my computer I type up a few signs, make them look professional and print them out. I disperse them to any entrance and go back to my office. I also need to put a notice on our website. It is easily done in seconds so I busy myself and look up ventilation specialists. There are a few, so I check out their prices and try to find the most cost efficient one according to the museums budget that we have for emergencies such as this.

I schedule an appointment, trying to make it as soon as possible. Luckily there aren't any fieldtrips scheduled, so we don't have to work around anything.

Now that all of the technicalities are worked out, I have time to inspect and make the correct adjustments to the displays to preserve them.

I start off with the oldest exhibits, seeing as they are the most delicate. There are only a few that have major concern for attention, so that's good. Now, if I could carefully move this small vase to a more suitable environment… I'm going to need special equipment, and gloves. The supply room holds everything I need…

"P-Pardon, Mr. Higgens, but I was wondering, well you said that all of the workers needed to be careful of the displays, and s-seeing as I-I'm Janitor… Um, well, can I still clean in the r-rooms… Or, um, how far away d-do I-"

"Just keep a reasonable distance."

"Y-Yes sir."

God… I'm not going to smack them over the head… Is it too much to ask for them to stop stuttering? I _merely_ want the conversations to be kept at a minimum.

"Bernard, do you need help?"

"Not particularly." Here she is _again_...

Christabella bites her lip. "W-well, seeing as there's a ventilation problem, I assumed that some of the displays would require extra care."

"They do…" I reply slowly. "But I can't trust anyone else's hands. They need to be handled with care." I dismiss her and turn to head to the supply closet, but she's in front of me instantly.

If I was honest with myself, she was pretty lithe and graceful… Annoyingly so… Actually no, not graceful… _sneaky_.

"My hands are perfectly capable." She says, holding them out in front of her to display them. "I can do anything with them, especially if that means handling things carefully."

I roll my eyes and press forward. It's bad enough that I allow our conversations to be longer than ten seconds. If I let her assist me in everything I do, then she'll get the idea that I _enjoy_ her company. I can't have that.

"Come on Bernard. Don't let the artefacts take the fall of your stubbornness." She says, aggravating me even more.

I stop in my tracks. _Stubborn_? Maybe… But bringing in the _artefacts_? Now I _have_ to let her. I groan quietly to myself, turn to see her excited face and jerk my head, gesturing her to follow me. She hops while letting out a pleased croon and practically skips to my side.

She chatters nonstop about things I could care less about and constantly smiles at me, waiting for me to take the bait. When I don't she giggles then moves on to another subject. We finally make it to the supply room and I have the greatest pleasure of interrupting her.

"Grab a cart, I'll get the other things."

"Roger, Bernard!" She says jokingly, but still happily. She salutes me and goes to retrieve the item. In a moment's time, I hear the squeaking wheels and know she's found it. I also have everything I need so we set out to save the deteriorating objects.

"So what exactly needs attention right now?" She asks. A question actually worth replying…

"There's that vase I was looking at, a few other stone artefacts, and the some wooden objects. Only the small ones can be moved right now, but some of the larger ones need attention… It will last until the specialist comes, but we have to make some changes in the environment. All of the new artefacts on the Metroman-Megamind floor don't need attention, seeing as they're all new. At least those are on the top floor…"

By the time I'm finished speaking, Christabella is just _staring_ at me. Smiling and staring… Like she was incredibly interested in what I was saying… But not the kind of interested look I want trained on my _eyes_ and _mouth_…

I don't ask _why_, because that would only cause her to think that I was actually paying her mind… I ignore it and walk away quickly.

"Whoa, Bernard, slow down!" She calls out, her heels making quick clicks.

"We need to attend to the artefacts." I dismiss. Her closeness is too risky. To my dismay she matches my fast pace easily once she's caught up. I thought heels made it more difficult for females to move fast…

"Okay then!"

* * *

We worked quite frugally… And she was actually pretty good with the handling…

I glance at the clock. It's already almost closing time.

"Well, that was fun!" She says as she satisfactorily dusts her gloved hands off. We head back to the supply room and return everything back to its correct place.

"_Fun_ isn't a word I'd use…" In actuality it was pretty torturous spending the entire day with a female who speaks too much. A female who's far too happy and friendly for her own good. A female who continued to stare at me and pretend she was working as soon as I turned her way. Now _that_ is something I call _aggravating_.

"Awe, come on. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy my company." She says cheekily. I roll my eyes and try to ignore her. Now that the work is done, there's no need to be communicative.

"You know what I think?" She waits for me to reply, to no avail of course. "I think you really need a friend. I can be that friend, Bernard."

She's still trailing behind me… "I don't _need_ a friend."

"Sure you do. Everyone needs a friend." She tells me.

"Not me. Now if you'll please leave me alone."

Her footsteps stop.

I think, gratefully, that she's given up, but of course it's a false hope.

"I'll get to you one day, Bernard. You _will_ be my friend!"

I can practically see the joyful smile playing on her infuriatingly pink lips. Everything about her is far too pleasant… But I'm sure it's a façade. A façade much like every other female being out there wears. A façade that pulls you in then dispenses you and _ruins_ you.

"Not likely, Christabella." I say, not to her, but to myself.

I can't _afford_ to let her in…

* * *

Disclaimer: Megamind characters go to Dreamworks. OC's are mine.

Good, good, very good. Heehee, well, at least I _hope_ it's good. I was debating whether or not I should start this. I had a relationship like this once… I was the girl… I _so_ wanted to write this, but I also felt torn when I read shivaun18's Overshadowed. It seems too good to follow, but, oh well. I'll try my best to get Bernard in character and to build my own story. I'm going to try my best and not make it too terribly similar to the other Bernard stories out there.

Please review if you like it. If you notice any problems, tell me so I can improve. Thank you.


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